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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Growing Up

This post is fact not fiction; not for the weak hear-ted; not for those who can't read the ramblings of a megalomaniac ;-) and definitely not for those who don't know me !!! So here it comes:

Growing up is a phase I distinctly remember where I had doubts about how I looked, how I carried my hair, how I walked, how I spoke - everybody and that includes most of my friends, looked at me like, I was an alien; tolerated me, cos I was sorta the life of the party; disliked me cos of my cavalier, happy-go-lucky attitude; envious of me cos they wished they possessed 'my' attitude; jealous of me cos I was fashionable even if it was rather unique ;-) and cryptic; admired me cos I was a regular Joe who did the unthinkable; viz; survive and lived to tell it's tale; hated me cos their parents spoke to me, confided in me and sorta wished they had me for a kid; but most of all loved me, cos I was a 'popular' guy !!!

Well this requires a lot of elaboration and I am not known for verbiage hence I shan't even make an attempt.

Every time I go back home, I still feel like an alien; not-withstanding the fact that for the last 14 years of my life I have been living outside. But I still dress the same; walk the same; albeit longer tresses and an ever expanding waist-line; but underneath it all lies the same old alien.

Have I mentioned that modesty doesn't exist in my dictionary???
Growing up was also the time when one discovers the opposite sex. Oh well, as somebody recently pointed out, I think I got more looks from men, even then, than I did from women :-(. You can imagine the plight of a not-even-bi-curious guy!!! And the opposite sex, if at all, was attracted to me, cos I was a "popular" guy. Hold on a minute, if nobody really liked me for who/what I was, then how was I "popular"???

Beats me! But as I found out recently from some one, who used to idolise me when she was a kid, I was apparently quite the cynosure during inter-school meets, sports meets, the works! And all cos I looked different! And I was considered quite a catch! Damn! Where have all these women disappeared to now ? ;-)

Okie that was a rather long digression! Coming back to the "moo point" (as my favourite screen avatar Joey would say): have I always stood out (read failed to fit in). But then is it my doing that I look like a chink/native american/hispanic??? Dress like a regular Indian? Talk like a south indian + bengali mix (the bengali is a recent finding), am more comfortable in English, Bengali, Hindi and Nepali in that order, although Nepali is my mother toungue? Am not attracted to women from my clan? For that matter I am wary of everybody from my clan!

If this sounds like a crib, well you don't know me. So bugger off from this post :-P

And if you think you do, let me hear from you as to what is it about me that I am labeled an alien, a "non-conformist"???

Friday, January 1, 2010

The first time

Haaa ... thanks to the people who shared this with me. Guess what ... I am a MAN!!!

Oh well, not that I doubted it ... but given the looks I do get .... errrrmmm .. my wavy-long tresses, my once-upon-a-time slithe body ... and yes of course, my non-conforming looks; I am used to stares in general.

My name too !!! Aaahh but that's a post for a later day and that's revealing too much personal info in a public domain!

But this site knows that I am a MAN!!! Am I not relieved.